Tuesday, 21 December 2010

In sickness and in Elf

Hazel the almost 4x4 surpassed herself today by boldly going where many other cars feared to tread. Despite her lack of radio and CD player (there is one fitted but when the battery was disconnected the security system means the code has to be typed in, and as yours truly has put the code in a safe place Hazel is deficit sound system) and various hand gestures from less competent drivers, Hazel held her chosen line and negotiated the labyrinthine network of streets on my patch allowing me, and several grateful colleagues to complete our duty visits, right wrongs, and for quite a few families, come bearing gifts.
Now I would have liked to have thought of myself as in the wise man bearing gifts category. Jolly fat blokes bearing gifts are also at a premium this time of year, and despite several requests from colleagues I point blank refused to don white trimmed red suit, false beard and utter hohohos to see the little kiddies faces light up because some complete stranger bearing gifts is in their front rooms talking to their mums.
So after five years university gaining an honours degree in psychology, a further four years part time to gain the diploma in social work, countless additional training courses that allow me to practice all sorts of specialties in my chosen field in child protection, today Matthew I have been one of Santa's little helpers. The worlds most unlikely Elf. The annual Santa appeal yielded a stack of gifts from generous members of the public, and as everyone else's Rudolf's were incapacitated by the white stuff, Hazel stepped into the breach and with the seats folded down was able to deliver several sleigh loads per hour.
There was half a thought at around lunchtime to stop at ASDA and attempt a bit of my own Christmas shopping, but as the traffic in the car park had spilled out onto the roundabout, the double ques of angry drivers mixing in with the ques of traffic for the sorting office where the backlog of post was being ransacked by an angry mob who were suddenly less than impressed with the ease of Internet shopping (no waiting round to be served, no ques, all at the click of a button, 24 hour delivery honest) As we resupplied with fresh gaudily wrapped packages at the office word spread of food riots in ASDA, those found with more than their quota of two litres of milk per customer were being flogged while a desperate horde of grannies had holed up in the bakery armed with baguettes and were forcing the on site baker to work overtime.
By late PM a lot of Christmas cheer had been delivered, the strain of not crashing in a fiery inferno every junction was beginning to tell, my cold was worsening and the "broken" selection box had only a finger of fudge to offer as sustenance, so Hazel was gently pointed homeward and through the worsening blizzard we headed off along the high mountain road back to the sanctuary of HQ.
We found a further 2 inches had fallen and up to twelve more are forecast in the next 12 hours. Tomorrow we work from home.
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