Thursday, 31 October 2013
Today saw a large mound like creation made up from the bale given and the contents of three other bales taken from the wreckage of next doors sty where four bales had been carefully laid up and two naughty ponies had carelessly unlaid them. This equine vandalism has had to go unpunished as the naughty boys are at autumn riding school (like borstal but with whips) but this misdemeanor has been a bonus for Pam keen to win the porcine grand designs competition.
The one side of the mound appeared to be pulsating in a strange theres piglets hidden in here manner. Pam, not known for her geniality, was pacing around the pile making odd grunting noises (yes I know pigs are supposed to grunt but Magalitzas dont usually grunt they make a sound similar to Godzilla stubbing his toe) clearly on guard.
Yours truly decided that, given the evidence, a closer look was needed. Pam, a sow who does not suffer fools kindly, decided that private investigations of her pile was a definite no no and no amount of coaxing or Celtic oaths could persuade her that safe passage should be allowed. As I was about to try the time honored poke with a stick method something in the grey matter alerted me to the fact that the pile moved in a very strict pattern which meant that either the piglets were a highly co-ordinated display team or the movement was down to something else.
Like a plank of wood trodden on by a patrolling sow.
An organised person would have posted a pic of the mountain of straw and angry pork so you will have to make do with a picture of Reuben stood in front of the aviary with its winter covering being applied which might indicate some method in the madness that is my life.
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 22:48
Breakfasted and cleaned up I headed for the city where I had the best alternative to work, meetings, and whilst travelling between two I discovered a new rule of driving.
Unbeknownst to a yokel like me in a grubby 4x4, where a road divides into two lanes at an approaching junction, the left lane marked left turn only with a huge arrow for Magoos, the right lane, mine and Miranda's, marked right turn only, again assisted by a huge visual of a large white arrow pointing right. What this actually means is that the lead car in the left lane has automatic right of way on a right turn and is able, despite road furniture and visual indicators, to make an immediate right turn across the path of muddy 4x4 that thankfully has excellent brakes. So evident is this right that driver of car in left turn only lane turning right across muddy 4x4 with excellent brakes and bewildered pilot is allowed to call him a wanker and give the V sign before continuing their journey.
Posted by Tony at 00:13
Monday, 28 October 2013
Tonight's training was a very cross country run with Berners, a hazardous venture at the best of times as Berners like to run close to their owner, so close in fact that that every footfall is a potential Decker Budd moment. Ripley is the worst, she times her paw strike to cause maximum imbalance in yours truly who is less than graceful at speed without a near miss every other step.
So tonight's jaunt went something like, run, stumble, trip, wade through
Its just over two weeks before I run from Knighton to Kington dressed as a pantomime animal.
Posted by Tony at 22:09
Sunday, 27 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:02
Saturday, 26 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:57
Friday, 25 October 2013
Thursday, 24 October 2013
Anyway back to the main reason for the 550 mile return trip in 13 hours, four double deckers, a litre of pop and one Burger King stop (vile poisonous muck and served by a teenager who hated life the universe and everyone in the motorway service area who had the temerity to order junk food thus paying her wages that funded her lifestyle choices such as more facial piercings than is necessary and aggressive tattoos, her mum must be so proud)
Posted by Tony at 23:49
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:21
Monday, 21 October 2013
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:54
Friday, 18 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:58
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 22:38
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Today he decided to partake in a little roll around in the dirt in the lane.
He does this from time to time.
This time he rolled on his back, rolled over to the left, then the right, slid down the bank, landed on a fence, panicked, flailed around losing his two front shoes in the wire and getting his rear hooves tangled resulting in him being trapped until my beautiful and oh so patient wife, alerted to his plight by a passing hiker, managed to cut him free and through the power of prayer got him upright ready for yours truly on return from work to remove the last bits of metal from his feet and bed him down in a deep litter so the dumb ass could lie down and rest his weary bones.
Posted by Tony at 23:46
Monday, 14 October 2013
Sunday, 13 October 2013
Posted by Tony at 23:35
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Today I was in a real hurry, I used Miranda to get to paid work and after that went to the garage to get a can of fuel for the strimmer so I could clear the "garden" ready for the grand design of the dog maximum security block.
Much to my annoyance every pump was full of old farmer types who who were filling their monster trucks, comparing weather forecasts, farming subsidies, price of sheep/cows/feed and loading their pockets with snacks from the shop.
None too patiently.
Eventually one wizened farming type laden with bacon fries and chocolate milk moved away from the pump and I got Miranda's nose in. Quickly I filled the green petrol can with eight quids worth of fuel (when did a fiver not fill a plastic can?) cursed as the pipe would not reach the filler on Miranda so ran in and paid for the fuel. The end of the line cleared and so I reversed out and pulled forward again and parked Miranda right side to the fuel pump and quickly put a tenners worth in to keep me going (not wanting to pay the extortionate village garage pence per litre price) and as the numbers clicked (ok its digital reading but it still clicks in my head) to 10.00 I realised to my horror that I was pouring petrol into Miranda who up until that point had only ever run on diesel.
I went in and paid the man and confessed my error.
The locals all laughed sympathetically.
I pondered and phoned a friend who knows about engines.
He was as much use as a chocolate fire guard and basically said well it will either be alright or it wont. I pondered some more. The queue built up behind me. I decided to fill Miranda with the right stuff and shoved another 80 quids worth of fuel in which at local pump prices was around
She moved and got me to the supermarket where I got some supplies.
Loaded with goodies and with the engine running I sat on the car park thinking that all would be ok, my day would not go to rats, that things would get better from this point on.
I thought this at the precise point some geriatric lady driver faced with a half empty car park found there was not enough room to maneuver her Fiat 500 and could only stop by crashing into me.
Tomorrow I am going back to cycling everywhere.
Posted by Tony at 22:47
Friday, 11 October 2013
Now these were a gift from a microholder who lives the other side of the ridge, who had also been a member of pig club.
A ton of pig muck.
Top quality stuff which is why the veggies are so good.
You can use everything except the oink!
Posted by Tony at 22:32
Late PM saw yours truly go to whats billed as an extreme spinning session, primarily due to the usual instructor having the poor manners to go on holiday for two weeks thus leaving me with a gap in the training schedule, but also to see what a different instructor/venue could add to my quest to get back to uberfitness levels.
Once I got used to the different style of bike (smashing my left knee into the bottle carrier really helped) and the very different training routine where you go flat out for 3 minutes and rest for 1 doing various exercises while cycling very quickly, I found it was a very intense session, some 20% more energy expended in the same amount of time as at my usual class which is, if anything, more civilized than tonight's class.
15 of us were packed into a training room where a cat would have hit all four walls with ease, and as regular readers may know I am a fan of high volume music with distorted guitar rifts permeating a thumping bass but the volume of the training track made my nose bleed but this was nowhere near as annoying as the 20 something fitness instructor who had her lycra suit spray painted on and was compelled to gurn in the most spectacular fashion whilst performing pelvic thrusts as she pedaled.
Had I been an adolescent 15 year old I might have found this display of feminine contortions somewhat erotic but as I am about to crash into my 50th birthday in the first quarter of the new year I just found it an irritating distraction and a pointless waste of energy.
Posted by Tony at 00:31