Friday, 4 July 2008
These two are currently the biggest trouble makers at Rock HQ.
It used to be Maggie that caused the mayhem but her antics have been out classed by these two felons.
Trevor the Shitland might look the epitome of cute on four hooves but his obsession with biting or humping animate and inanimate objects know no bounds. Having been dragged off the feed bin where he had been trying to have carnal knowledge with a sack of oats he further disgraced himself as he was led back to his luxury apartment. He jumped on my shoulders as we tackled the descent from Willow Rise.The gradient gave him a sudden sense of superiority as I led the way along the zig zag path on the steep section. He suddenly found himself above me and whilst my back was turned he decided to take the leap of faith and mount me. With a horse leg either side of my head pressing down on my shoulders it took a second or two for my panic stricken brain to register that I wasn't being mugged but that an amorous pony was trying to force his wicked way on me. I narrowly managed to avoid being stabbed in the back by a worryingly large part of this miniature horse's anatomy and clipped him around the ear once for not asking me nicely before trying it on and twice for giving me an inferiority complex.
Geisha has kept a low profile for a while but has obviously been undertaking Ninja training. She can now move so swiftly and silently that you are completely unaware of her presence. She can, for example stand in your blind spot, just behind you, and stay there. So no matter how many times you turn around like a pantomime Dame with the crowd baying "Behind you" she remains totally invisible. So great is this skill that she managed to get in the house and was found in the fire place eating a large and expensive bunch of flowers. No one saw her come in. She will get into the feed store as you carefully close the door behind you. You turn away from the door and find Geisha stood with her head in the feed bin where a second before the room was empty. Should this new found stealth fail she uses brute force and will headbutt a door to test the lock, several times doors left on the latch have been discovered and she has wreaked havoc before being turfed unceremoniously back outside.
Nothing is safe from her attention. I picked some roses from the garden for Tracey yesterday. It was some consolation that she did actually see them before Geisha ate them.
These two ruffians are lucky they are either pet status or they are mammals who are not culturally acceptable to be placed on the menu. A sheep behaving in this manner would have been put in Mr Whirlpool a long time ago.
I like sheep.
Especially with new potatoes and gravy.