Friday, 19 October 2012

Meet Miranda

 Hazel has died, and we have mourned her loss. The almost 4x4 was poorly for a while, then she lost power and despite a trained mechanic looking after her and charging us a small fortune to tune her up he completely failed to notice that Hazel was only firing on 3 cylinders and barely producing any energy from those. After being reassured that if I gave him even more money for more bits I took Hazel for a second opinion. The news was broken gently, Hazel was beyond help. So now faced with a massive paperweight on the yard, no way of moving pigs (as in physically, not emotionally, I did show them the Sea Biscuit DVD and they cried, such a brave little horse) no almost 4x4 for winter and worst of all, no spare organs to sell to raise the cash necessary to replace her. Short of finding a wodge of cash down the back of the sofa we were well and truly Hazeled (broke) Then a funny thing happened.
 My beautiful and oh so patient wife who a long time ago realised that wife and carer are interchangeable roles, was looking through my bank statement trying to find further ways of saving. The house insurance was one, for some insane reason for the last ten years I had been paying £80 a month for house insurance whereas MBAOSPW found twice the cover for £160 a year! So she phoned the bank and asked our ever so understanding bank manager if the bank could beat the premium. They couldn't but in the conversation bank manager told the patient one that a cheque I had paid in wasn't showing on the statement as I had paid it into my savings account. There was a pause and the bank manager added, whoops hope I haven't got any one into trouble by saying that. Cue the happy wanderers return to Rock HQ, angle poise lamp in face, so you have a savings account eh? Spill the beans.
Yours truly was very surprised to find he had a savings account as never having had any inclination to plan or save it had never occurred to me to open an account, or occur to me that I could syphon off any cash without detection.
Protesting my innocence I called the bank.
Yes confirmed the bank manager you have a savings account.
 Excitement level began to rise, really, are you sure, yes I'm sure its got your name on it and everything, finally I asked the question, erm, could you tell me how much is in it, today's balance is....
The sudden crashing sound brought hotel staff running and after they picked my jaw up off the floor (I was being treated to lunch hence the very public BLOODYFANTASTIC!!! sorry sorry, to other diners) I got bank manager to repeat several times the amount and double check it was mine, she also confirmed that she opened the account for me a long time ago and that I wasn't drunk when I signed the paperwork, it really was my money, and yes I could spend it if I wanted to.
So I have, after much searching (2534 vehicles later) we think we have found a good one. Here is Miranda. Fingers crossed she lasts longer than Hazel and that no horses think we have bought them a new arse scratcher.
Fresh from the quest to bag Miranda we were sat in HQ having a well earned cuppa when this little bird appeared(sat on the Bristol Blenheim bomber). Where she came from we do not know, all windows were shut. But for a good ten minutes little Jenny Wren entertained us flitting around until she was carefully captured and set free.


spiderlover said...

Wow! Wish we'd find a long lost healthy account and right now. Moved into a little cottage up here in Orkney to find the roof is a sieve in disguise :( No money to have a new roof - at least £20,000 - so buckets and bowls everywhere......constantly going for pees as the drip drip drip gets to us!

Jeremy Fisher said...

I'd better carpet the drive for your Monday visit!! Looks a good 'un and what a great windfall. I'm off to look behind the sofa just in case!!!