DIY disaster

There are a few things that I should learn to leave well alone, these include the "simple jobs" associated with DIY. The day started reasonable enough, a minor disappointment at the local farmers superstore where I found they were not giving away bacon sarnies as I hoped, but I did get a good deal on dog food (didnt taste the same and not recommended for breakfast). Ferny Fern Fern from Ferntown had a minor inconvenience which required the bolt cutters to get her free. Will she have learned from the experience? Time will tell.

As the weather forecast was as accurate as Ambrose's headbutts we were well prepared for the snow that fell at midday. This arrival of the white stuff coincided with our plan to spend the weekend on DIY projects in the cottage so being housebound was not a worry.

So soon we had he who cannot be named's room emptied and prepped like a blank canvas for us to create a lovely kiddies room for lil t the apprentice smallholder. Why I chose the weekend the 6 nations started is a masterpiece of bad planning so while all the rugby was on the box I was wielding a paint brush and turning pale magnolia into sky and rolling hills ready for jungle animals and other such child friendly murals to keep him occupied.

I left my beautiful and oh so patient wife applying the finishing touches to the newly decorated room and instead of sneaking off and watching England thrash Scotland decided that I would spend my time wisely and change the toilet seat. This is a job I have been avoiding for ages, even the new toilet seat in its box propped next to the toilet failed to spur me into action. Today was the day, a simple task of undoing two bolts and changing old for new. Simple, what could possibly go wrong.

In fact quite a lot, which was why I had been avoiding the job, that and wanting my moneys worth out of the old seat. Both bolts had corroded on the old seat, but eventually one undid, the other required a hacksaw but was on the point of giving up like its partner, but before it did it had one last trick. I only tapped it ever so gently to encourage it to finally give up the ghost and it did, but the toilet cracked almost in half causing an interesting flood, a plethora of swearwords and most likely means that I will miss all the rugby tomorrow as I will be laying a floor in little ts room in between feeding all the critters and going to B and Q for a new bog.