How to dehorn a Dexter, first separate your cow from her friends, ear defenders recommended!Then persuade her that her chosen path is not correct and the path to enlightenment lies elsewhere!
Next you have to coax her down from the slopes of goatanamo without swearing!
Smile as she wrecks the place during the decent, remember its not her fault she's a Dexter and don't panic at the thought of 250 gallons of water cascading down the yard. . Spend best part of day repeating various elements of this routine. Then remember an old tale you read about how Tigers were lured into traps with a live goat. Copy this method exactly and feel smug at the result as foolish Dexter falls for such a simple ploy.
Try not to cry when the vet phones up and apologises that he will not be able to come out and play today as a neighbours Llama feels anxious as it has a tangle in its wool so needs urgent medical attention. Release goat and Dexter and prepare for round 2.