A big clue that a big pig was loose on return from work was a big bale of straw in the centre of the yard instead of where it should have been under the eaves of the stable. So as we settled Hazel, Pamela the monster porkpie factory trotted into view, grunting her hellos and full of apology for having abandoned her all mod cons hot and cold running straw pen, where she was booked in to give birth. There followed a comedy of errors as yours truly tried to get a very happy to see me pig (imagine a 200kg puppy) to stay in one place long enough while barricades were constructed to keep her there. Much to the amazement of the goats the lumbering monster walked through their enclosure and plonked herself in what s left of the old dog kennel. Here, protected from the torrential rain (it is summer after all) she keeled over and fell asleep. The whole process only took 2 hours, two changes of clothes, half a ton of straw, a steel gate, several screws, some shouting and some counselling for the goats who wanted an ASBO on their new neighbour.