Sunday, 24 July 2011

Pig of a day

Its all been about pigs today, apart from fixing gate latches, replenishing the water tanks, introducing George to the smallholding, doing butch building jobs, entertaining 9 Bernese Mountain Dogs, feeding all the critters, looking after Tristan, who's poorly, poor lad has my manflu (yes seems like my flu jab has worn off) and feeding Hermits, today has been entirely devoted to the pigs of Rock HQ.
Pammy Pig, above, has been doing her nut in the stable, being used to the great outdoors she has a case of cabin fever which isn't helped by 6 hyperactive piglets who rub salt into the wound by climbing through the gate and exploring the great outdoors. As they are all on solids and she seems to be spending as much time chasing them off her teats as allowing them on it was W Day. Weaning off the piglets Day. Mission success relied on removing the five bar gate from the entrance without being killed by Pam. She reverted to being super softy Pam, probably a sign of how much the kids were doing her head in and the waited patiently while yours truly removed all 138 screws holding the gate in place. As the last screw was undone a brief conversation over the stable door with Tracey, my beautiful and oh so patient wife who was on standby with the first aid kit, on the how does one separate Pig from Piglets. Pam solved this one by doing an admirable impression of a greyhound out of the trap and shot off in the general direction of the big pig pen.

The door was shut behind the disappearing porker and job was done. Flush with success I decided that Bridget the Fidget pig should be given the same opportunity. Her piglets are a bit younger than Pam's but as she only has two they are mighty mini porkers and on solids like the rest of them. Bridget did pretty much the same as Pam given the opportunity of an open door, except Bridget went off like a malfunctioning Exocet and tried hit all areas of the smallholding at the same time. Having a SOHF (sense of humour failure) as I headed off the feisty pig from her intended target, which was everywhere except anywhere close to the big pig pen, I decided that drastic measures were needed to help her get a sense of direction.

It was also a MAD plan, as in if it went wrong it was a Mutually Assured Destruction outcome. As Bridget shot past on yet another spiral I stepped out armed with a piglet which on seeing mum detonated. The next few minutes were a blur, and thankfully no one was hurt, critically, although my ears are still ringing (which is nothing compared to the possible loss of limbs involved in the MAD plan)and Bridget got the idea of where she should be and on a final fly past crashed into the target area where Pam was already availing herself of the facilities.

It has to be said that Pam and Bridget did a pretty good job of forgetting their responsibilities as a mother and started to enjoy themselves.

I was it worried about how the other porkers would take the new arrivals. Well Iggle and Piggle soon made friends and have already been seen sneaking milk from both mangalitzas while Guinevere and Morgana took it all in their stride.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"As the last screw was undone a brief conversation over the stable door... ...on the how does one separate Pig from Piglets."

It is very encouraging to see other people taking this approach: I get some funny looks for trying to learn this way.