Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Once bitten

I often get bitten, not by the critters but by insects, they love me. Guarantee if anyone gets bitten, its me. Horsefly's love me, midges seek me out, in fact any blood sucking type crawly has a spotters guide where I am number one target.
So when I got bitten yesterday it should have just been run of the mill. But this bite was different. I was sat at the PC. It, whatever it was, bit me on the arm as I typed. Now again, hardly unusual given the number of dogs and cats here the occasional flea breaches the security and has to be dealt with. But no, this was unusual as I was not at my PC, I was in a busy office full of people. And then I got bitten again. Initially I was worried that I had brought a visitor with me, it must have sneaked in and was now going to wreak havoc. How embarrassing. And then a colleague started to itch, and he had been bitten, as had the person opposite him. Panic started, we were infested. Our work brings us into contact with homes and occupants that are less than clean and a haven for bitey crawly things. Some must have stowed away in someones clothing and was now making its presence felt. Management was called, no way were they going to get pest control in for a few bites, there was nothing conclusive, nothing to prove that we had been bitten here in the building. Then she was bitten, twice, and then a third time as she explained to the business manager our little problem.
Now the business manager is loathe to spend money, and certainly did not want to be the one who called Rentokil, again. Not too long ago a very distressed admin bod came running from the corridor shrieking in fear that an exotic bug was marauding in the ladies toilets. Through her gibbering its location was established and one of the braver female social workers went to negotiate with the nasty red crawly and ask it not to put ladies off getting on with their lawful business. She returned a moment later having spotted the dangerous red insect and confirmed, only a tad less hysterically that it was definitely dangerous and needed dealing with, by an expert. The experts were called and the offices were cordoned off, work ceased, crowds gathered to watch. Aforementioned expert arrived, was given a map of where beast had its lair. Donning suitable protective equipment and armed with a baseball bat in one hand and claw like contraption for seizing insects in the other he solemnly made the long walk towards his destiny. He returned a few minutes later, the claw had done its job, held before him, very securely was a half eaten red jelly baby sweet.
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