Sunday, 28 February 2010

Foot in mouth


There are times when I have just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole and today I had one of those moments. Not quite as bad as the time I was describing to a colleague a woman who had been on a course with me a couple of weeks earlier, to help him identify her I said, you know the one who's sleeping with a soldier, and as I said it I realised it was his wife I was describing.
No not quite as bad as that one, or as bad as the time I gatecrashed Prince Andrews dinner with some fellow Navy Officers and to my horror one of my crew told the Prince he looked just like himself. No not that bad, but on the richter scale of embarrassment this registered a 7.4.
Out of the blue, about a month ago, Tracey and I were invited to Sunday lunch by a very wealthy well to do friend of long standing. She had not been in touch for nearly 8 months so I had surmised she was either dead or we were out of favour. An invite for free food is the most likely thing to tempt me away from the sanctuary of Rock HQ we gratefully accepted and as today was the day got all the chores done double quick time to get ourselves presentable for our generous host. As always it was a bit of a do, all the posh embroidered napkins, cut glass and silverware looking splendid on the expertly laid table. Drinks were served and pleasantries exchanged and all the while the smell of delicious food wafted from the kitchen.
We sat around the table and dishes were uncovered, a selection of three fabulous curries inspired by a recipe book given as a Christmas gift. It was all very jolly. The youngest daughter asked to be excused the table as she needed to get another gold ladle to help serve the food and as she left her mother whispered conspiratorially how she, her daughter, had met a lovely young man, he was adorable and quite a catch, if we were lucky we might get to meet him, rugby player, academic, well connected, she, mother was so impressed with him"I love him to bits, such a charming man, don't you think?"
The eldest daughter nodded dutifully.
The daughter returned and sat at the table and gave that coy look of someone who knows they have been spoken about while absent "What have you been saying mother?" she playfully chided "Nothing embarrassing I hope" she grinned.
"Its alright" I reassured her "Your mother has just been telling us all how much she loves Dick"
I expect it will be another eight months or so before we get another invite.