Sunday, 7 February 2010

Thanks Dad

I took Stable Sprite to see the cutting room and all the techno butchery gear today with a view to buying some of the kit together like the 50/50 bacon slicer we already have. He sold us our first pigs and since I first started bothering him we have become friends despite the fact he is a lot older than me and he hates snow. On the way he asked if I had a business plan other than the machinery is all shiny. Er... no, but its so shiny and clean and for sale so its got to be worth having.

We had a good look around, the fully fitted cutting room was a palace to butchery, in every cupboard there were sharp things, armoured aprons, chain mail and stainless steel goodies that looked like the Inquisition would buy a set. We opened one cupboard and found a hydraulic sausage maker capable of turning a whole elephant into bangers in 6.7 seconds. Stable Sprite just shook his head and watched while I wandered round making noises like a distressed magpie.

I began to realise that bringing Stable Sprite was like taking your Dad to see a motorbike, he wasn't going to be impressed. We left. Cheque books intact. Over a massive breakfast of sausage egg bacon and beans at Rock HQ Stable Sprite aka Dad passed judgement. "Shall we buy it?"
" No." was the emphatic answer. "How many pigs have you got?" he continued.
"Have we got a room to put it in?"
"Do we need all that stuff, really, yes I know its shiny, but will we need it?"
Thoughts of epic battles with a hose firing mince at 100,000,000 miles an hour into ever expanding sausage skins combined with my ability to cock things up sprang to mind. No.
"So why are we thinking of spending money on kit we don't need, for a room we don't have for pigs we haven't got?"
Apparently because its there, good enough for Mallory was not a good enough reason for Stable Sprite, and because its shiny cut no ice either.

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H. said...

hi there what breed are those gorgeous sheep... its sounds to me like you have great fun on your small holding..

Tony said...


They are Ryeland sheep, a very old breed from Herefordshire, and yes amongst the chaos we have a great time!