Live on stage

Trevor the pocket rocket took the podium to address the smallholding. He requested more horse nuts, less mud and fresh straw. We managed two out of three.

Luckily he's not a very heavy shitland, other wise he might feature on an animal rescue special as underneath the board is a 30 metre well. There is a metal hatch but I wouldn't be standing on it for any length of time. OK so I'm heavier than him.

I escaped the waiting game at Rock HQ, instead of sitting and waiting for our new arrival I went to be Agnessed, our friendly Osteopath who's diminutive stature hides muscles of steel and an unnerving ability to put my spine back in shape whilst chatting. Once she had repaired the damage I had done myself over the last 8 weeks I went to a DIY store to be humiliated over my lack of knowledge of plumbing and was persuaded against my better judgement to buy a pipe wrench guaranteed to get the top off an old fashioned tap. Guaranteed to deplete the bank balance by a further £25 and once on the ranch guaranteed to leave the top of the tap firmly secured.