Monday, 15 November 2010

As if by magic

It would seem that BT have defined how long forever is. After the bizarre conversations I had with their little pixies on a pay as you go mobile stood in the only place you can get a signal on the Bonsai Mountain (in the upstairs bathroom perched on the windowsill) where the incredulous little pixies could not believe that the telephone line severed by a big yellow digger way back in September had not been repaired. They were aghast at the notion I had contacted them several times as their little pixie lanterns held no such records. Once they had readjusted their headsets when told at some volume that yours truly had several hobbies, but making up conversations with incompetents was not one of them and that whilst losing my £800 a year would have as much effect on their mighty pixie land corporation as an ant kicking an elephant, I would be looking for another provider of telecommunications if this continued. This prompted a chief pixie to promise, that this time it would be a "forever fix" and by Monday last week a gang of pixies in a gleaming chariot arrived and sprinkled their pixie dust and we were back on line.
But "forever" only means "less than 24 hours" according to BT, for the line went dead again Tuesday pm. This prompted more wrath by mobile and a Queen pixie, who made the mistake of calling the strategically placed mobile as part of a customer satisfaction survey, promised that it would be mended right away. As with "forever" BT have another definition of "right away " which translates into "within 5 days, plus or minus a day or two, more like plus, sorry, gone are the days when we could tell engineers to fix something"
So now we are back on line and the ant is putting on metal toe caps ready to give the elephant a good kicking should anything else go wrong.
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