We took Rene our Rx4 to have his tyres changed today and while I struggled with the complex communication techniques of the fitters who avoided eye contact at all costs, grunted or sighed dependent on whether they were being asked a specific question or explaining that Rene had in fact blown his front pipe, I wondered why my shoulders were aching so much today.
Was it as a result of moving so many bales of hay from one end of the smallholding, or perhaps my yet to be patented technique for digging the garden that doesn't involve bending, no I concluded as I drove the recently retired Rx4 back towards Rock HQ, it was because of a new skill I added to my ever expanding CV yesterday.
I am now a goat wrestler.
Now this is very different from the horse whisperer technique you may have heard about, where an unspoken bond between man and beast exists and they communicate and cooperate achieving great feats. No, this is a technique borne from the desperation of trying to keep two young kids alive whilst preventing an irate goat from goring you to death. It basically entails holding said goat by the horns and holding her steady while Ambrose and Archie sneak a quick milk shake. As can be expected Juliet took immediate exception to this restriction of her liberties and the violation of her udder by her nephews and countered my attempts to hold her still while Ambrose and Archie had a little snack by going completely mental. Even with her eyes covered and one of her kids feeding at the same time she managed to sense the deception and stamp all over Ambrose whilst pushing me over the bales of hay strategically placed to conceal the intruders.
Chaos reigned for several minutes as those involved tried to achieve their competing aims until finally the boys were fed, I had asserted my authority and Juliet had inflicted enough damage to her tormentors and we could all relax. The video clip above is taken soon after the event and as can be seen they are all fine.