Whatever happened to monday!

Life is a blur here from time to time, days run into each other as jobs get done, or not as more often is the case. Not sure what happened to Monday, it even disappeared from the TFTR pages prompting emails of gentle outrage from our merry band of readers. So the actual posting for Monday is below with Fern, it was late by the time it was published but it just vanished.
Part of the day was spent teaching the Rock HQ pack some manners as their over exuberant welcome is getting borderline intimidating for the unwary traveller and welcome guests alike.
Passing through can be quite an experience with so many cute animals to oooh and aahhh over, many a walker is seen posing for photos by the Pocket Rocket and Misty our tiny ponies. Other are seen risking an inquisitive bite from the piglets as they lean over the stock fence and try to touch.
Some scrota tried to feed the ponies a golf ball, and Sunday some idiot on a motorbike nearly ran Apollo down in the yard as he (the man not Apollo, if we had a horse that could ride a motorbike we would never have to worry about paying the mortgage) illegally tried to ride his too powerful bike for such a weedy man over our Bonsai Mountain for an off road adventure. Now I am all for live and let live, and if the buffoon had got off his bike and pushed it slowly past the horse instead of riding straight at him I might have taken a more lenient stance, but if he shows up again then by the time he finishes the boys in blue will be waiting.
Anyway back to puppy training. As ever this is not the run of the mill, it involved me sneaking out of the cottage and hiding in the lane dressed as a hooligan, hoody, baseball cap and so on.
The dogs of war were unleashed and when they spotted me, a stranger in their back yard they did the usual full cry gallop to come and say hello. I reacted totally unlike any stranger they had encountered, by running at them screaming, waving my arms and generally behaving like an escaped lunatic. They skidded to a halt en masse and gave a few warning barks before retreating to sit behind Tracey to await further instructions. As she failed to give the kill, maim disfigure command they watched with some amusement as yours truly hammed it up by stomping around like Guy the Gorilla. This eventually prompted a fresh sortie but they, being brave dogs, ran away as fast as their paws would carry them as I stood upright and beat my chest like King Kong. All except Bliss, she circled me tail wagging making eye contact as if to say I know its you. Cover about to be blown I doubled back through the cow pen to get back to the house before they did so I could surprise them by apparently being in the house all the time.
This would have worked a treat had I not encountered a cow having a nervous breakdown who now thought the lunatic who had tried to frighten the dogs had certainly frightened the cow, goat and pigs, and finding herself alone in the barn with said nutter sprang forward head down achieving 0 to Mach1 in a millisecond. The bovine human collision was narrowly avoided in the confines of the doorway and the soft landing in her daily deposits was a better option than a goring from her horns. Scraping off the worst as I jogged along the garden I made it to the conservatory just in time to be greeted by Bliss who sat there with an I knew it was you all along look, quickly followed by a phew whats that smell.
The training continues, for all of us. Hetty's therapy starts as soon as we can afford it.