Hold the sausage

One thing we have learned since we started smallholding is how complicated simple tasks are, its a rule, the easier the job the harder it will be to finish. Thankfully there is often help on hand, especially if you are busy, or incompetent, or both. So today to be super helpful Stable Sprite volunteered to take our two pigs from his smallholding where, despite Berkys best efforts, they epic failed on the lets get pregnant front, to the nice man who helped them to the celestial sty and become the vital ingredient in our sausages.
Now both Stable Sprite and I have taken many pigs, separately and together, to the slaughter house. We have marvelled at the intricacies of the forms we have to fill in so that we can move our pigs, promise to clean our vehicles and trailers, declare any medicines used during the piggies life time, convince the vet there that the pig is well enough to be killed, patiently queued with impatient farmers eager to get their animals unloaded, battled with those who try to push in, sympathised with those who cannot reverse, all so that we can eat our own meat. So for Stable Sprite to take on this task to help us out was a real help.For Stable Sprite this was going to be hard work, for the pigs it was going to be total commitment.
He got there and for once there was no queue. For once he could reverse straight up to the unloading pen and turf out the trainee pork. Anticipating the delays he had filled in all the paperwork and the person that checked it was there in the office, not skiving around the corner keeping everyone waiting while they had a fag and a cuppa. For once it went all so smoothly. Until he walked out from the office after booking the pigs in and found a small crowd around the pigs.
"How old are they?" asked the vet
"About two, why?"
"Should have brought them yesterday" said the vet
"Why? What happened?"
The vet ignored the valiant attempt at humour. "Yesterday is when we do the tests on adult pigs."
"What tests?"
The vet sighed. "We test adult pigs for streptococococoolosisisiss, we don't get it in this country, we never get a positive test but we are in the E.U. (A dark cloud started to form over the slaughterhouse at the mention of the E.U)
Everyone looked at the pigs. The vet continued. "As we are in the E.U. we have to do what they say, they want this test done. That was yesterday." The vet smiled apologetically
"Have I got to take them back?" Stable Sprite asked.
"No. We can kill them. But you cant eat them. Not til next week when we do the test.Dont worry it will be a negative test, we never find it. Ever."
So now I have four hundred pound of potential sausage in cold store waiting to be tested for something that they wont find. Thank you E.U for making life so simple.