The great egg race

The great egg race has been won by the brown Chinese goose, who's name escapes me for the moment, who has hatched at least three healthy ducklings. In comparison the incubator which has been keeping two dozen eggs at the right temperature for the last three and half weeks has hatched nothing. She, on six eggs and two goose eggs has done very well. Doing things naturally is always best. Which is why I have to get another cow. I was told on good authority yesterday by a farmer of years experience that the chances of me detecting when would be the right time to artificially inseminate Hetty was about as likely of success as the Liberal Tory alliance spending cuts being well received. What I needed was another cow, that way as soon as she tried to ride or mount the other then we would know she was ready. I waited for the punch line. Nothing. I waited for the it just so happens I got one for sale. No, more silence. I was actually being given some sound advice. So the search is on for another Dexter, which by all accounts are the bovine equivalent of the Tamworth pig for temperament. Pig keepers will know whats meant by that, those that don't, well it was summed up by the farmer yesterday as he watched ours eating the lawn while having a pair of my trousers on its horns after a tangle with the washing line. "Dexters, they're nuts man!"
Fit in well here then!