Tales From The Rock

There are gremlins in the matrix so this post wont be its usual, ahem, professional presentation of life at Rock HQ. Suffice to say we are enjoying life here in the glorious sunshine which is why I was a tad miffed, to say the least, to have it nearly ended by some dickhead lorry driver in so much of a rush that the thought of slowing down for yours truly who was biding by the highway code and travelling in the same direction as dickhead who while sat scratching his hairy belly in his air con bright yellow HGV with the words TARMAC festooned across all flat surfaces thought it acceptable to pass cyclist (me) leaving only enough room between the two of us for a gnat with unfeasably small testicles to squeeze through. The front wheels were close but the dickhead was keen to see how close the back wheels would get which was close enough to make the gnats eyes water and for me to require a change of shorts. Only having enough time to spot an X on the number plate I tried to catch the dickhead (dickhead is the term for pillock driver who in an effort to get to his full cooked english is willing to risk the lives of others and corperate manslaughter)at the roundabout but adrenaline fuelled pedal power was no match for braindead diesel horsepower. So the quarry, who are making a mess of the local hill, are going to get a visit where I shall advise the transport manager of my disatisfaction. This is a shame as last year I was impressed by the courtesy of the drivers from TARMAC and the wide berth they gave me. Some still do, some are excellent drivers, but it only takes one dickhead to kill me and ruin it for everyone, especially me. What I pondered was different this year as I am getting an increasing number of adrenaline rushes caused by the crap driving. Has the bubble burst, are cyclists no longer viewed by the drivers as worthy of road space now Sir Bradley has disappeared, have they forgotten 2012 and Team GB cyclists, am I doing more mile and therefore exposed to more lunacy. And then on the ride home tonight the answer came too me, cameras. Last year my cycle helmet looked like it had a camera fitted and every driver was very courteous. Since little t broke the helmet fitting that held the "camera" or light as it actually was I have not had it fitted and since then dickheads are taking over. A new clamp has been ordered, and perhaps a camera. TARMAC you have been warned.