Miranda and I got stopped today by customs and excise officers. There we were minding our own business driving along having just pulled off the garage forecourt. From behind a white van a fluorescent jacket sprang out and gave the universal stop right now signal and as the only option other than stopping was getting the front of Miranda all messy and putting a nasty red stain over the yellow jacketed one we adhered to protocol and pulled up. Three more fluorescent jackets swarmed round us having stopped bothering a hose transporter (probably off to Tesmorriainsburyose meat morphers) eyeing up my cargo of firewood, gammon, dog food, kids toys, empty drinks bottles and extra strong mints. "Diesel or petrol sir? "said the brave one,
"I fancy diesel thank you, fill her up" stony silent stare met poor attempt at humour.
" Is it diesel?"he said looking at the diesel only fuel sticker on the filler cap
"Yes she is" I replied tapping Miranda's instrument console so the nasty rude man didn't upset her
"Right I just want a quick sample sir"
" For free? Have you seen how much it is?" I jerked my thumb back towars the fule pump 50 metres away that I had just used ( actually I was tempted to say no thanks I've just been but they clearly had their sense of humour removed when they took the job)
As yellow jackets now started to crowd round obvious trouble maker I decided that giving a free sample of fuel was in our best interests. He dangled his pipe in Miranda's. (oooerr!) The sample was removed.
It was all white.
They were looking for red.
That's cheap farm fuel the likes of which yours truly has no access to.
Especially as the garage I had just visited in their full view only sells me the expensive white stuff.
He tipped it back in.
"That's all sir thank you for your cooperation".
I drove my violated Freelander away before any law was broken.
He stopped another 4x4 as it pulled away from the garage.
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