Revolting technology!

The day was set to be one of those classic days at Rock HQ. The weather was outstanding yesterday and after a few hours Red Kite work I was going to be unleashed on the smallholding with my newly refurbished massive chainsaw that would, by my estimation, make short work of the tree trunk in the yard, which would mean, all going to plan, I would have everything done and dusted by the time England smashed the Irish in the six nations. Tea and medals for all concerned, perhaps even a sherry or three. Unfortunately, just like England's grand slam hopes, it didn't work out as planned. We have had a spot of bother with technology recently. Hazel the almost 4x4 went to the garage last week and needed a massive amount of work that required a whole branch of the money tree. New brake discs all round, calipers, pads, suspension bits and brake shoes on top of a full service. Ouch! But at least she now stops when you want her to and goes in the direction you point her. Not having the 4x4 meant that the bins were not put out, so before the chainsaw frenzy I had to get rid of the rubbish bags from the workshop which were for some reason a bit stinky.

A small bonfire got rid of the problem but there was still an aroma in the workshop. As I was next to the small freezer I thought I would look to see if I had put any of the new batch of sausage in there for safe keeping. The source of the smell was clear when I opened the door, the freezer was off, the meat defrosted and a bit high. There were sausages there, about 30 pound, chops, rabbits, chickens and small joints, all ruined. A sudden sinking feeling overtook me, two other freezers waited inspection. Mr Whirlpool the huge chest freezer sat quietly in the corner. To quiet. He was off too! Inside the best parts of two pigs, a lamb, half a deer, some pheasants and a loaf of bread festered. The final freezer was duly opened, same, rotten meat on every shelf. The source of the disaster, a trip switch had tripped, obviously some time ago and as we have two more freezers in the cottage the ones in the workshop are hardly used so it went unnoticed. So they sat defrosting quietly. A whole years meat production wasted. The bonfire got a lot of it, the dogs got the sausages and I got the pig. Never mind, put it behind you, cant do anything about it. Cheer yourself up by wielding the mighty chainsaw I thought.

Well after £95 you would have thought it would have started first time. Eventually after much sweat, pleading and swearing the sod started and the first cut of the tree trunk was accomplished, it was great, like a hot knife through butter. Really good. This was going to make the day better. Except it didn't. After the huge log rolled away the chain stopped, chain brake applied I thought, but no, the wheel was jammed in the bar, the chain was stuck solid. It was going nowhere except straight back to the "mechanic" who "fixed" it in only seven weeks! Right, this was natures way of telling me I should go in and watch the rugby, it being super Saturday and all.
So I sat back, Tristan on my lap to watch England win. Except I didn't, the TV picture went. A snowstorm of black and white where the teams should be. I waited patiently, no picture returned. Perhaps it was the TV, spare TV was brought down and put in place, same snowstorm. Sense of humour failure was imminent.
The transmitter might be down.
Tracey my beautiful and oh so patient wife suggested I go and check the Aeriel. As I could see it from the lounge I dismissed that idea, and any notion of checking the cable stretching 100metres to the booster box as a while ago I had relaid the cable, bought expensive connectors and buried the cable at key crossing points. It was the transmitter. So while the TV engineers were dragged out of the pubs to fix it I watched the game on the PC on a broadband link that's slower than a racing snail. The match was perhaps best watched this way, in a sort of stop motion film effect on a three inch screen as England's performance on a big screen in high definition would have been even more disappointing.

I went to shut the birds away when it was dark. Tracey asked me if I had done anything to the TV as the picture returned for a split second. Down in the chicken run a branch from the tree was hanging down so I moved it to get by. For some inexplicable reason this had decided to insert itself into the TV aerial box. Once it was removed the picture came back, so I did get to see France stuff Wales which was some consolation as it meant England won overall and I could hold my head up at work being the only Englishman in a Welsh office.
This little scrap above is now three weeks old!