Red Nudes Day

When not working on the smallholding, or developing Red Kite Fostering I have to take paid work to keep the bank manager happy and the critters fed. So some days I leave this green and pleasant land and drive through the mountains to the valleys of south Wales where I meet some fascinating people. The valley folk are different to those from the outside world, and once you get used to the peculiarities of the accents you can tell who is from where, so Cynon folk have a different way of talking to those from Treorchy, and all have a different perspective on the great wide world. Treorchy is like no other that I have seen so far, a small town transplanted into a prehistoric landscape with sheer cliffs and high valley walls trapping the inhabitants. A thin strip of tarmac winds its way precariously along the slopes of the Rhigos mountain and any second from the swirling mists you expect a dinosaur to emerge or a pterodactyl swoop down and pluck the car from the road.
What I didn't expect to see, as I drove carefully through the cloud and driving rain, the temperature showing a mere 2 degrees when over in the previous valley it had been 17, was a pair of bright red buttocks wobbling up the middle of the road. They belonged to a naked man, the rest of him came into focus as he plodded his way uphill. Just in front of him were two other pairs of buttocks heading in the same direction, equally red. Now I know opportunities are few and people are keen to leave the valleys in search of better prospects but this was taking things a bit far!

I did what any self respecting Englishman would do, ignored them and drove on, hoping that this was really happening and not an indicator of a nervous breakdown. A dozen or so more naked men all heading in the same direction confirmed the imagination was not working overtime, something strange was going on. I rounded the next hairpin bend and ahead the two lead naked men were making good progress, running at quite a pace, if this was a strange religious cult on its day out then these two were the leaders. I slowed as I drew alongside and wound the window down. I shouted the burning question, foot poised above the accelerator to burn rubber in a fast as Vic could manage get away should the need arise. "Mate, why are you running naked up the mountain" The cult leader drew breath inhaling the drip from the end of his nose, he was red from effort and tinged blue with cold, the rain was stinging all his important and in his case very little places, "Red Nose Day Butt! I've raised over a thousand pounds!"