Bernese Mountain Goat

As part of my stress management I embarked on the Bonsai Banzai training session today. Jill, aka Super Grandma had taken charge of the critters and fed and watered all. I had managed to fix the leak under the sink, the leak was not caused by my clearing a sink blockage yesterday but by cack handed design, or cobbled together plumbing by the previous owners. My disturbing the sludge in the ubend highlighted the shortfalls in pipework and lack of water proof seals. A trip to the local town to buy essential supplies for Tristan, who has given us some dramas to deal with today, all dealt with without recourse hospital which was the first idea that sprang into the visiting midwifes head. She arrived in a whiter than white car, so white it hurt your eyes to look at it, I mean it glowed, radioactive isotopes were in the paint. I stood there slack jawed like someone witnessing the second coming, dressed, it has to be said, like and extra from Deliverance and holding a pick axe handle. The radioactive car stopped on our dirt track, I had to shield my eyes, the occupant shouted from within "Have we taken the wrong turn?" I was about to say pretty much when the occupant declared in mild hysterical tones that" We are looking for Tracey" Through the glare I could see two midwifes. I pointed to the cottage door and sat myself in a rocking chair sucking apple sauce through a straw. "We don't get many strangers in these parts" I shouted after them.

Back in reality and in our local town I realised my mistake, local town, lunchtime. Here, even the cafes shut at lunchtime so trying to get essentials for Tristan was impossible until 2pm when the Chemist deemed it safe to unlock to door. Trying to get essential plumbing supplies took three shops, four pointless conversations and £2.67 plus vat for a piece of plastic I knew I could not use but needed the rubber seal from the one end.

Back at the ranch I bestowed the occupants of the cottage with gifts, which included a bar of chocolate for my beautiful and oh so patient wife. Good job she is, patient that is, as in my stressed Eric state I sat and ate the bar of whole nut while watching Tristan who, oblivious to my anxiety settled down as if nothing had happened (as I type the news he has finally done a pooh has almost brought tears to my eyes) it is, essentially a relief for all concerned. So after possibly the most stressful calorific over consumption since the healthy eating regime kicked in I took the BBMC training to a new level. The Bonsai Banzai. This is a route up the north face gully to the top, down the long haul side, back up the long haul and down to five ways crossing, double back to the summit and descend via north face gully. I had in mind it would take an hour if I really tried, I did try and it took 65 minutes. A target to beat. Not bad for a first attempt. The Berners all joined in, but we had an honorary Berner for the first stage, up until the tricky step section of North Face Gully. Geisha joined in. She changed her mind. Sensible goat. A.N.D.Q!