Where am I?

 Early doors saw a hearty breakfast, the type that doesn't induce joining the queue for the pre race bog or losing time trying to peel off layers of skin tight lycra before crouching over a nettle.

 Yes it was time for the Clun festival of cycling, and as its British summertime the weather was suitably wet, windy and most unhelpful when deciding what form of lycra to wear. Now I was Billy no mates on this ride, the Stable Sprite who has learned to ride a bike this year decided that cuddling a pig was preferable to venturing outdoors and face 111km of the finest hills Shropshire has to offer.

 So as yours truly was on his tod a new strategy evolved, to go for a really fast time. This had two benefits, one to give me a real man test as part of my non training plan for the real event planned for the 25 July, but primarily it would get me brownie points with my beautiful and oh so patient wife as I would only be absent from HQ for half the time planned. So without further ado, or map checks, I set off, crossed the start line 30th out of 200 and 25 miles out was fourth with one hour twenty minutes on the clock. Part of my go as fast as possible strategy was to ignore the feed stations as this was time ill spent and anyway I had enough to feed a small army in my pockets so feed station one hove into view for a second or two as I shot past chasing three riders in front who also had the same strategy. Two marshalls watched as I disappeared around the bend. This is where it went very wrong as five miles on I was faced with a crossroads, no signs and no cyclists. So I waited. And waited. And waited some more. No one came to the crossroads so I headed back and found a few old folks chatting who cheerily told me they had seen a load of cyclists and they went that way, pointing to the crossroads. Theres a sign they told me. I dutifully returned and waited, watching the time tick by, no records were going to be broken now. By the time I worked out that the old folk were referring to me as the cyclists seen heading that way I was contacting Stable Sprite who in between pig love moments took time to look on the map to try and help me. He did, he confirmed what I knew, I was lost. At this point another farmer appeared and shouted they went that way so I thanked him and headed off. This turned out to be a big fat lie, but at least I was heading somewhere, which led to anywhere and then unbelievably back to a point I recognised so the last ten miles had been one big circle. So with 35 miles on the clock and over an hour wasted I decided to pilot my bike back along the route already taken and call it a day. This is where things changed for the better for as I fought my way back up a 20% hill another Mammil shot past going down so I quickly turned and chased after him. He stopped at the X roads and I explained the above. We both got maps out, mine would have been more help with glasses but I bluffed my way along with my new companion, so we teamed up and set off. Ten miles on and after the biggest hill I have ever cycled up, Stieper stones anyone? we miraculously found our way back on the proper race route and turned up the pace trying to make good a disaster. Feed station 2 we refuelled and cracked on over taking around a dozen riders over the next 35 miles crossing the finish line in 6 hours 46 minutes having done 86.21 miles. Time includes time spent sitting around waiting for help.

So my new found friend and I told the organisers that if medals were being dished out for longest distance it was a definite that we would win. It was at this point that the organisers owned up to a slight organisational error. Food station 1 was off route, a small spur, once there you were to double back and head off another way. Had we stopped then this info would have been made obvious, instead the marshals just watched as we raced past, bless em!
So for all nerdy types, total time out 6 hours 46 mins, av speed 12.48 mph max speed 45 mph, ascent 6300 feet.
Luckily MBAOSPW was as ever very understanding when yours truly rolled up 4 hours later than planned full of tales of an epic adventure.