Lets do the time warp again.....

Living in a valley where the majority of people are called Steve does have its disadvantages especially when you telephone one of them. Case in point being on the coldest night of the year (3 nights ago) our Rayburn, the heart of the cottage, but a defective one as it sits sulking centre stage and refuses to run the central heating hence the penguins and polar bears on the upstairs landing, tried to shuffle off its mortal coil and take us with it by filling the house with noxious fumes and quite a bit of flame. The beast was tamed by cutting off its food supply and a few sharp words while my beautiful and oh so patient wife phoned Steve.
Steve is a mans man, all boiler suits and utility belts and completely unafraid of defective kitchenware with ideas of grandiosity. MBAOSPW explained who she was to Steve, who argued the point for a while that he had never been to our cottage. Finally the penny dropped and Steve who was a heating engineer realised that we needed Steve a heating engineer and thankfully gave us Steve the heating engineer's telephone number whom we called and he was the real Steve and he remembered us, our naughty Rayburn and that the last time he was up here he crashed his nice new shiny day old van.
Steve turned up and beat the Rayburn into submission, while he did so we spoke of time past and his last visit. "You were expecting then" he said very jovially pointing at Rug Rat MkII, "and now look, he's on his feet!" It was at that point that we all realised that yes we were expecting the last time he called, but the expectation was The Apprentice, now aged nearly 4 years. We stood in silence waiting until the compulsory statement uttered in unison "Does't time fly!"