Same old story

Shock news. Lorry driver fails to deliver ordered items to Rock HQ. As unbeleiveable as England's performance in the world cup I know, but yes a lorry driver failed in his duty. It was the same old saga yesterday when lazy arsed lorry driver sat in lay-by looking at page three eating a Bombay bad boy pot noodle rather than drive the half mile down the lane to The Oracles farm yard where he was to drop off our new fridge freezer. This was after me having spoken to the courier company, made sure that they would not be driving anything larger than a 7.5 ton lorry, made it quite clear that they had a turning space, that they only had to drop the fridge freezer with our neighbour, there was no need to battle up our dirt track, fit the new appliance or re-cycle the old one, and most importantly made sure that the transport manager knew that we had used this courier company before and and their 7.5 tonner made is safely in and out again.
 Now all he had to do was drive, which is the major part of his job description, and find us. Having epic failed on that and once he was bored of looking at Chantelle in her g string and her opinion on the Kurds expansion plans in Northern Iraq, Steve the driver (and he really was called Steve, I have the text message to prove it) lobbed his empty Golden Wonder container into the hedge, took a bite of his Yorkie and departed with our much needed white (well gun metal grey) good.
Day two of saga, much different. After a discussion with the transport manager as to the error of their ways fridge freezer MkII was sent and its arrival time between 7 am and 11 am could not have been more difficult to manage. Chances are that new driver would arrive at the same time as Bin Lorry, other courier delivering sports kit, or me going to drop the apprentice at play school were high and of course happened. As little t was greeting his peers I got a call saying that the lorry was in our yard. I phoned my beautiful and oh so patient wife to meet me with the trailer and away I went only to find on arrival an empty yard. No lorry and no giant box containing fridge freezer. MBAOSPW arrived with trailer in tow. Quick conflab we decided that new driver, called Ian, had followed the sat nav and was in a farm yard, but not the right one. We knew where that one would be so soon we were with a rather confused Ian who was in a little Luton Box van who could have driven all the way to our house, apparently the transport manager was loathe to let him use the normal 7.5 tonner (much to Ian's disgust) as he wanted this job over with. Ian was insistent that he come to the house but as I was equally keen to get the job done before I was too much later for work so we wrestled the massively heavy carton onto the trailer and waved goodbye to Ian who was looking forward to getting back to his proper lorry.
Back at base the newest piece of was put in place without dismantling it or the cottage and the transport manager phoned to see if I was happy now. Clearly I am. This bit of kit is a vital part of next weeks plan when three little pigs (now big) get turned into a years supply of sausage, pork and bacon.