The cost of living

On day where the UK GDP is down for a record 9th month and its being the worst peace time depression for 100 years, the true cost of living with a monster stinky goat called Boris has been discovered. Extra precautions are in place to stop his foul stench killing his temporary landlords (gas mask, gloves, waterproof clothing) but there are other things that were perhaps not considered in detail when a stall was offered to the beast. Cleaning his bed out revealed a whole new hell and led to contamination of the shovel, wheelbarrow, wellingtons, Bernese Mountain Dog stupid enough to enter the goats boudoir (all of them then!) my left arm, house keys, door handle, bucket, garden gate and compost heap. It all ended up reeking of male goat. Thankfully my running into the house screaming the ancient incantation of those afflicted by goat stench "Omigodomigodgerritoffame!" reduced my time in solitary but the knowledge that a return match is inevitable once Boris makes his mark on the new bedding fills me with dread.
Talking about the cost of living my beautiful and oh so patient wife needed a new battery for her posh watch. Quote from Jeweller who sold watch £300.
Quote from Steve the Clock and Barometer man £4.
Apparently the difference is that the £300 quid battery is guaranteed to work. The £4 battery just works without a guarantee.