Apple Wars!

I got shouted at today for taking apples for the pigs.


Tracey and I had parked Rene up on the hill and were busy helping ourselves to the apples. Not a soul was around, apart from a group of about twenty hikers all kitted out like they were attempting the north face of the Eiger rather than the west side of our hill. We caught them cooing over our Ryeland lambs and swearing to be vegetarian as the little lambs are so bonny. I reassured them they are as tasty as they are cute but they could not countenance the idea of eating such an adorable creature. Funny that, I expect their good intentions will be forgotten once they get back to the real world and wander along the supermarket aisles. Most don't recognise whats in the polystyrene tray covered with cling film as the cute woolly beast seen on their walks.

Anyway back to the apples.

There we were minding our own business scooping up bright green crab apples for the piggies when all of a sudden "Oi! Who said you could have them?" The Oracle was at the bottom of the hill.

"Are these yours?" I shouted back.

"Well yes!" he shouted up at us as he tried to close the distance between us. Given that we were half way up a steep hill covered in bracken and he has had a triple heart bypass and pacemaker fitted this was looking good. As he huffed and puffed through the foliage telling me to wait there I checked my mobile phone to make sure I could contact the air ambulance. He got halfway and lent with his hands on his knees gasping for breath. "Who is it?" he spluttered.

"Tony" I shouted back. Suddenly it was alright, I was allowed the apples, he thought we were hippies, the ones that took all the holly in 76, well tried to he stopped them at the gate and told them they could have one bag, no more, or that old woman who asked to take some nuts a few years ago and took them all, left him with none! So The Oracle claims the tree, but allowed us to take the apples, he even said he would give us the apples from his garden once he found we wanted them for the pigs.

They might not be very forgiving in these parts but if they like you they are certainly generous.


Eyesight's not too good though!