Stick with who you know

 Its that time of year when the days are noticeably shorter and its perhaps not the weather to wear shorts and t shirt when completing an early doors ascent of the bonsai mountain with the clan. So as yours truly had been given a nice money off voucher for heating oil from a company who claimed to beat our current supplier on price anyway an order was placed for 1000 litres of the stuff. Having had a nice shiny new central heating system fitted this should last until spring as unlike the now sitting on the remains of the helipad rayburn the new system sips the precious fuel oil rather than gulp it down like a drunk at a free bar.
However, as can be expected, things did not go to plan.

We have donkeys, and limited space full of animals of several species, so the donkeys reside in what is euphemistically referred to as "the garden". The fact the garden is a 45 degree slope populated by large rocks that periodically fall off the cliff and vast swathes of nettles is another matter. by living in the garden the donkey are able to access the oil tank. Not an issue as donkeys don't like the taste, and encased in metal they cant get it. But there was a peculiar oil like aroma in the utility room. Which got stronger, and stronger, until it got to overpowering and required investigation. The source was soon found, the little donkeys do big poohs, which piled up around the tap end of the tank. Now camouflaged to look like ground the donkeys stepped on it causing a pin hole leak in the top of the float chamber. It could have just perished over time but its handy having a culprit to pin the blame on.
Of course on discovery the pin hole which dripped occasionally unnoticed soon became a torrent of escaping oil on finding. Like the boy with his finger in the dyke I was trapped and unable to get any help further than an arms reach away as I valiantly plugged the hole with skilful prestidigitations while fending off an amorous miniature donkey. Finally my beautiful and oh so patient wife became concerned at my absence (read had another job for me to do) and released me from my predicament by handing over a large lump of blu tac (other sticky products are available) which served as a replacement finger. For 3 days.
Meantime a call to new oil supplier, don't deliver as the tanks leaking.
Now things have a habit of getting in the way of jobs, even urgent ones and Ben Nevis just had to be climbed (another story) hence 3 days later the vital tank repair was done. Pleased with the success of the blu tac the need to strip down the float chamber seemed an excessive solution when a more practical solution was on hand. Soon the hole was securely plugged with instant gasket, superbuildersglue (oil resistant) and a bright pink horse bandage. The repair whilst unconventional was bombproof and visually appealing. 1 week later nothing had escaped and the need for fuel oil which at the time of ordering was needed was now desperate. Phone call made we awaited delivery from our new supplier.
We got back from work to find a card in the door, basically saying they tried to deliver but couldn't please ring.
So I did, and rather than finding the delivery could not be made due to a donkey being in season it was disclosed that the delivery had not happened as the driver thought the tank was leaking. Evidence of this was a towel wrapped around the pipe. Yours truly went to check to see what fiendish plan the donkeys had contrived in my absence. It all looked the same, small but vivid pink wrapper on float bowl , no egress of fossil fuels. Bored donkeys in attendance.
Back on phone, I've checked there's no leak can I have my oil I've paid for please. Lady on phone could not help me as Sarah was dealing with my order, Sarah would not be in until Monday. It now being Friday I decided not to hang on. I would call back.
Tuesday (I forgot Monday) the following conversation took place.
Ah yes he could not deliver due to a towel around the pipe.
Its not a towel its a horse bandage.
Pink?
Yes, what of it.
Its leaking.
No the leaks fixed can I have my oil I paid for 3 weeks ago please.
The leaks fixed?
No. The leaks fixed. We are about to run out of oil, can you deliver asap.
Can the driver see three sides of the tank?
Excuse me?
The driver needs to see three sides of the tank before he can deliver.
Any particular reason?
Health and safety.
Its in an alcove, if he walks around it he can see three sides, four including the top. Can I have my oil now?
What's the tank made from?
Metal.
Is it on a concrete base?
No idea..
Or blocks?
Its on both...why all the questions?
Health and safety check.
Ok
Can the driver access the site....
Look. Its a smallholding. There's lots going on, its difficult to get to, if the driver wants me to I'll decorate the pipes with doyleys and garlands of flowers, I need that oil, I've paid for it, please deliver before we run out.
I will get it to you by Friday.
Many thanks.

Needless to say, midnight Friday we ran out of oil. I phoned Sarah Monday, explained that I was unhappy , she didn't feel the need to apologise but gave me my money back.
I phoned our usual supplier and explained my disloyalty and they fell about laughing but promised to deliver in 24 hours. Within the time scale a driver knocked on the door of HQ, he wasn't being an idiot about the oil tank, he just wanted to borrow my wellingtons because of donkey deposits. Rock HQ is all fired up again.