Hows things?

 Got asked how things were at Rock HQ .

Everythings rosie. A major project is about to start on the weekend, thats after the annual countryside show and before I try and rescue a vital report off a laptop that went bang.

 One good thing has been that I have finally got to ride my new steed that arrived two weeks ago. Being surrounded by off road tracks it seemed a good idea to get a bike more suited to it than my fragile racer. Hence the above and having conveniently banished any recollection of a major wipe out last time I rode down the side of the Bonsai Mountain and almost forgetting that my left arm is mostly metal yours truly and new steed set off on an off road adventure. This lasted almost 20 minutes and approximately a mile which as long as it took to discover that A) Some fitness has been lost after a whole week of non stop beer, chocolate, ice cream and cheese B) Mountain Bike is not as easy to ride as racer, it having a strange array of levers and suspension parts C) The latter means that not all power makes it the wheels the former makes it amusing when changing gear D) Gears either mean pedals do not turn as they feel like set in concrete or fly round so fast that you fall forward smashing the family jewels on the not quite cross bar E) This negates the pain from the handlebars in the face as you unexpectedly wheelie on every hill due to weird gear ratios F) Failing that the rear wheel spins so fast through lack of traction part two of section D occurs again. That said it was quite exhilarating (once I had stopped crying and clutching my privates) so  much so that  once I fell down the side of the Bonsai Mountain I turned back for a second go.

 Having realised that hedonistic lifestyles means wheezing my lungs out of my arse, a lower power to weight ratio and general embarrassment (I wont mention my stomach knocking over a model train when someone showed me his Hornby collection the other day. Train approaching platform 5 will be delayed due to lardy bloke knocking it to the floor) when in public I sought to remedy this by getting back to some form of training, my mentor Chester making encouraging remarks. That or wondering why a fat bloke is on an exercise bike in the doorway of a stable on a sunny day when really he should be lycra clad and doing battle with quarry lorries.

 Which is what I did today taking new steed for a 10 mile ride which took 1/3 longer due to fatness of rider and tyres.

To ensure lard removal was maximised the apprentice and I went foraging late evening. He found seven hazel nuts and a pine cone. I found a large quantity of balckberries for a pie and large bar of wholenut in the kitchen drawer.