It fell off the back of a lorry

 Living where we do lorry drivers who are oft requested to make deliveries usually fail in their task, for many reasons, but usually due to inability to operate the foot pedals and steering wheel in the co-ordinated manner necessary to negotiate the perilous journey from the world to Rock HQ.

 Only last week I returned from work and found a delivery van trying to sneak away after dumping our 20 metre roll of vet bedding in the Oracles garage rather than risk our lane with its lakes, potholes and overhanging trees.

 So it came as no real surprise today to get called back to HQ to sort out a lorry driver who was afraid to venture to his assigned destination on account he may never return.

 Instead he loaded the 250kg package in the back of Gerry with the assistance of yours truly, a tail lift and a pallet truck.

 Now I had none of those aids when I got to the cottage

 but thanks to an old table, a door mat, 3 straw bales, a modicum of swearing and considerable effort I managed to get the massively heavy package out of the back of Gerry and on to Terra Firma before the rampaging Ryelands ate the crash landing mat.

 I also did it without breaking me or the contents of the box.

 Now you must be wondering what on earth could be contained within the very secure packaging marked fragile.

Our lovely cottage is heated by a reluctant central heating system that is also very expensive to run, being oil its never going to be cheap and being old its never going to be efficient. So we have a secondary heating system, a woodburner. However this is all it does, it burns wood and offers very little heat by return. Twice we have had it refurbished and twice it has melted internally and this time having done the same again it got its marching orders.
Now there is a great deal of snobbery about woodburners, unless you buy one that costs the same as an education at Eton and is made by hand from cast iron poured by a master craftsman in a small village in the Shires then its not worth having. It has to look old, have a name like old woodsman knight burner and look incredibly ugly. You also have to wait three years for it to be built and a further year for delivery. Ours was all of those and refused to heat the room yet alone the house.
Inside this box is a very modern woodburning stove made by the very efficient and clever Germans who manage to make and deliver a chic woodburner for around the cost of the door handle of a British one. It is also amazingly efficient at burning wood and then radiating heat, which is why I am sat at the far end of the room in shorts and t shirt toasty warm. This is with all the upstairs doors open letting the heat escape into the bedrooms and bathroom.

 For once what I had planned in my head actually worked. It took 30 minutes to get old woodburner out and plug in new on, quick run round with a bit of fire cement to flue pipe and good to go.

This is full throttle, soon after this pic was taken all fixtures and furniture was moved from the vicinity before they melted. 

Thankfully not all drivers are incompetent cowards, heres KBS number one delivery team dropping off the makings of the base of the Swiss Chalet Kennel Block. By putting it here they have halved the distance I have to wheelbarrow the concrete and we can still get the cars in and out. Bravo team!