Who fell over?

If I thought falling off my bike was going to be the low point of the day then I was in for a shock 2/3rds of a mile further on. But first my encounter with gravity, it was it has to be said a triumph of clumsiness over balance. Yours truly has for a while been using SPD pedals so I am attached to the bike by my footwear, metal cleats in the soles lock into the pedals and away we go.
The uninitiated to this style of pedal will almost certainly spot the flaw, that when you stop you cannot put your feet down. The solution to this, apart from an excellent sense of balance and timing which negates a lot of stopping (which I have yet to master) is to twist your heel sharply away from the bike and your foot is released from the death grip. The trick is to remember to do this before you have to stop at a junction, otherwise you topple over and provide endless opportunities for people to earn £250 on you been framed.
 I have only ever done this the once after a longish ride in Portsmouth I came to a junction and could not remember which way it was to my ship and in that moment of indecision I fell over. Until today that was a lesson learned.
Today as I arrived home, or rather in the yard of The Oracle, the location of the gateway to our world I unclipped my right foot and placed it on terra firma. Unfortunately the rest of my body made preparation for my left foot to be on the ground and in total slow motion, watched by Jess the collie and a huge ginger cat, yours truly fell sideways and as I was still attached to the bike which somersaulted over me to land, still hanging on to my foot, in one massive tangle of metal and limbs. Once the puzzle of how to get up was solved I limped home up our track.
 Crispen has been missing for two days, not a good sign when one of the flockers goes missing, especially our elderly ram. As I walked slowly past the pig pen I saw him, looking very dead, against the wire. The poor lad had toppled off the bank and rolled down against the fence. Passers by would have seen a fluorescent coloured Mamil wrestling with what was once a prize ram and dragging him to the lane. He wasn't dead, but was very much in the exit lounge. He couldn't stand so a wheelbarrow was used as an ambulance and he is now in the medbay. Comfortable on a fresh bed, nice food and clean water, but we don't think he will be with us long. Ten years is a long time for a randy ram and hes going to pastures new.