We don't get much traffic here, the odd maniac on a trials bike, some militia on quad bikes with sheep dogs hitching a ride, apart from that any traffic is invited.
So today we were quite excited about the arrival of the new cooker and having warned the depot delivering said appliance that their driver would have to negotiate narrow lanes, dirt tracks, overhanging trees, sheep that refuse to move and shitland ponies prone to car vandalism it came as no surprise that waiting for me in The Oracles yard was a huge articulated effort wedged between the gate and the barn and lit up like Blackpool promenade.
Having already spoken to the driver to guide him in the last 500 yards I knew that he was driving something a tad bigger than a transit van so I had helpfully volunteered to take the trailer down to bring cooker back and save him damaging his custom painted wagon and squash our sheep.
In the rapidly failing light artic maneuvered back and forth while yours truly executed a truly magnificent three point turn despite my performance anxiety and the ever decreasing turning space.
Into this exciting vehicular ballet arrived a LDV lorry emblazoned ASDA who took up precious space and attempted to deliver our groceries.
Now we had an artic more used to delivering containers to dockyards than cookers to mountains, a novice in an almost 4x4 with trailer, a 30 foot white van man keen to get away, The Oracles two cars, Jess the dog and an assortment of pot plants jockeying for position in a space not much bigger than a door mat. With all the ingredients of a disaster movie in place we looked skyward for the approaching passenger jet bound to crash in order to make things just a bit more interesting.
The Oracle appeared, summonsed by the chaos in his farm yard, and as is by magic with some well placed left hand down a bits he marshaled the traffic, took delivery of the cooker for me (its so massive it would not fit in the trailer, it now occupies most of his barn space, don't get any ideas its guarded by Jess, weighs seven ton and looks like its nuclear powered) ordered the van driver to off load the groceries into the trailer and leave them in the plastic boxes theres a good lad, right that's you lot off now, there you are my boy all done and dusted see you on the weekend when you can borrow my trailer and move it up to your place, Jess will keep an eye on it til then.
Everyone needs good neighbours.
1 comment:
The Oracle reminds me some of my deceased grandfather. It's such a shame that their are so few of "The Great Generation" left.
Kit
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