Mind your back

Today's man test, reversing Trixie back to the bottom end of the smallholding was delayed slightly by a trip over to Stable Sprites to check on how Guinevere(above) and Morgana2 (below) were doing, and to see a pig giving birth, which for us was a first time viewing experience. All was well and after a few photos and hugs with our new charges we returned to the ranch to get on with it.
Now I am not your natural trailer reverser. I am not the type to volunteer to reverse through gateways or attempt any sort of maneuver that involves backward motion while hitched to the horsebox, particularly when there is a chance my efforts will be observed. There are precious few occasions where I have to demonstrate my lack of prowess in public, yesterday fetching the feed was one of them. The yard in front of the feed store is mercifully massive, large enough for a 747 to land, so me and my 4x4 horsebox combo has no problem maneuvering into place.
Usually.
Yesterday was different, is so far as there was only enough room for a small airliner to land, sideways, so as I edged the trailer back across the vast desert like expanse of concrete in front of an appreciative audience of lorry drivers who are old hands at reversingtheir arctics into parking bays with the width of a gnats genitalia either side, one handed while eating a Ginsters and using their mobile phones, my attempts were providing huge amounts of entertainment.
Turn 4, after three previous jackknife situations, I drove to straighten the 4x4 and trailer and concentrated, I used the force. What did Steve the fencer say, reversing easy, just drive straight, then go back and don't touch anything. I did exactly that, Jackknife right. Straight again. Jackknife right again. On the ninth go, and having seen the lorry drivers using their video phones to watch every detail,I gave up and abandoned the exercise hoping that the loader would be able to get our feed into Trixie whilst she was wedged against another lorries trailer.
Tracey, my beautiful and oh so patient wife thought she was helping by offering "Shall I have a go?", well as I had already felt my manhood shrivel under the amused gaze of the assembled throng of Ginster scoffers, the thought of having my wife rescue me and the results no doubt uploaded onto utube, it was, I felt, just adding insult to my obvious self inflicted injury. Luckily the loader was better at his job than I had been at mine and soon Trixie was fully laden and we were on our way whilst the drivers set about another pastie.
Today all went well, even with an audience of goats, sheep and Berners, Trixie was gently pushed back to the starting point some 500 metres of fairly narrow track, yard, buildings, cement mixer, piles of rubble and numerous roaming animals. This was all done without swearing, crashing, explosions, air ambulance or pies.