We come in peace....innit

As parties go last nights effort at Rock HQ was a great success. Although smaller than usual, no one inhaled sausage and collapsed their lung, no sword fights got out of hand, no drive by shootings happened, the music didn't upset the neighbours dogs and the weapons grade pyrotechnics didn't set fire to the trees or cause the emergency services to respond (as at previous parties) and the minor mishap when the smoke filled house had to be evacuated as an effect similar to those used by Led Zepplin on stage backfired and as well as creating an ethereal mist in the garden filled the cottage with a poisonous but otherwise entertaining fog.

Much praise needs to be given to those who put so much effort into their costumes, and we were delighted when Ali G made a guest appearance. Others included apples, dictators, Arabs, aliens, astronauts, Aladdin, Alice, archers, Animal from the Muppet's, Amy Winehouse, some Taliban, alter egos and others too numerous to mention. I knew my wearing a label with "What A am I?" on it was a risk and I lost count of the number of times the immediate response was the slang for a particular piece of usually well hidden human anatomy.

The food was donated on the main by Patches who gave a leg of ham and Pixie who gave a whole shoulder on the bone. Pork Butts and taters proved extremely popular (see Wren and Stimpy to find out what that is) Just before I finally ran out of steam at around three am I collected the remains of the meat and put it in the fridge for safe keeping.

Breakfast time came around far to quick and Ali G who forgot his Ritalin woke the house up at approximately seven am. While they tidied the garden and cleared the wreckage of the party I set about cooking lots of bacon rolls. The left over pork was on the top shelf and I momentarily considered using that for breakfast but settled for the bacon. Whilst cooking Ben, still dressed as Adam Ant wandered in and informed me that hey, guess what, last night I decided to have a chew on the leftover pork bone and I was wandering around biting lumps off it for ages before the lads told me they had "rescued" it from Reba who had taken it from the table and was under a tree eating it.

Great, now its in the fridge.

Bacon rolls and coffee served to the recovering hangover victims Ed, the astronaut, looks at the rolls and asks whats the vegetarian option.

My reply, short and too the point.

Hunger.