Cow Pat

The sun is setting on another day at Rock HQ, a day of massive effort and teamwork which has ensured a years supply of forage for the vegetarians inhabiting the Rock and a new recruit for the ever expanding menagerie located here.

It didn't get off to a good start though.

It has been a day that we were dreading, looming on the calender horizon like Titanic's Iceburg today was approached with a feeling of dread by the crew of Rock HQ. The bales of hay have been waiting patiently in a field ten or so miles away. Luckily it has been dry and fine since they were made a week ago, we knew our luck wouldn't last so plans were made to get them in. As I have a bad back and only one useful arm the bulk of the lifting and carrying was inevitably going to fall on my oh so patient and beautiful wife Tracey.

Sensing the prospect of moving 300 or so bales by herself was not her most ideal way of spending a day I press ganged Ben our uber fit Army officer son to assist. Beth and Tom were cajoled into staying at HQ and unloading. All was well with the plan except for one teeny weeny detail. We were going to have to do 40 plus trips in Rene to move the bales unless we could find a suitable trailer. Good fortune smiled on us again as I contacted Tim and Steph and pleaded to borrow a trailer that would at least cut down the journeys by half. A twelve foot long beast was loaned, capable of carrying huge loads this was more than adequate for our bales.

Day dawned, while doing the rounds we found the chickens had moved one foot closer to stew time by getting into the garden and eating all the salad and sweetcorn seedlings we spent most of yesterday planting.

At Tim and Stephs we were given a rudimentary introduction to the joys of trailers which included hitching, unhitching, loading and coffee conversation focused on the nice field of cows Tim had. Tim knew we were thinking of getting a house cow and made an offer seldom made by farmers, this offer included the wonderful words free to good home. They had a cow, past its sell by that they were very fond of and couldn't bear getting rid of but good sense told them she had to go. Luckily for us good sense seldom features in our style of farming and even before we saw Pat (the cow) we decided that we would love to offer her a retirement home. Tim sweetened the deal by saying she would be in calf by the time we got her, so milk aplenty for all at Rock HQ, and on the proviso we wouldn't eat her and wouldn't be terribly offended if she dropped down dead anytime after her arrival we were welcome to have her. The day might have started deficit salad but we were now proud owners of a beautiful cow Pat.

Getting the bales was a doddle, I nearly broke into a sweat watching Ben, admittedly loading and unloading took less time than tying the bales to the trailer, and then driving with a fully laden trailer was an all new experience. I like to think of it as exhilarating, the vague steering, the car trying to fishtail down the road, the dubious braking, the lack of acceleration and the wonderful burning smell generated by an overburdened clutch. My passengers, given the way they clung to various bits of the cars interior trim would be inclined to describe the journeys as terrifying. Thankfully we only made 3 trips and stored around 180 bales. Each one was followed into the barn by one or other of the goats, obviously some form of quality control.

Taking the trailer back livened up some poor souls day as a huge girder structure detached itself from the rear of the trailer and parted from the main body like a section of a Saturn V rocket, crashing onto the Queens highway giving the wide eyed driver following us a wonderful opportunity to test the manufacturers claims about his cars ability to steer under heavy braking. Unable to turn around and recover the missing piece and as Rene now had the braking ability of an oil tanker I had to finish the journey, drop the trailer where I demonstrated my complete inability to reverse whilst towing, and race back to get the vital metalwork before it caused any more upset.

Finally home after a nice cold one with Tim and Steph we were able to watch the sunset, a good day, and thanks to all those that made it possible. But best of all we are closer to getting our house cow.