Look closer

Sitting on the sofa feeling sorry for myself due to persistent lergy, PC issues, working evenings and injured rug rats have all meant that there has been a break from the steady stream of updates of the chaos at Rock HQ, however yesterday was a better day (save for the apprentice nearly knocking his brains out on a car park concrete bollard) which saw yours truly able to get out and about and enjoy the autumn sun on the pretence pretext of working.

Part of my job involves seeing how people are and what better way to see how everyone is than by persuading them to go for a long walk in the countryside looking for treasure, or geo-caching as it is commonly known as. First horde was found swiftly by this very old gateway, several others were found after a lot of searching and two were given up as lost causes but the best one was find three, the clue Rocky 2 and co-ordinates found us scrabbling around a gateway looking for a geo cache horde. A long time passed and no treasure, spirits waned but we kept looking. I kept picking up a small boulder convinced treasure was under it. Finally it dawned on me that what we were looking for might be the rock and sure enough it turned out to have a geo cache sticker on its bottom and was hollow!

I also got to see two pups from the KGB litter, here are Diesel and Skye. Diesel on the right here is 8 months old and growing into the biggest Berner I have ever seen. Good job he's so well behaved!

Having fifty million poultry waiting to be fox food at Rock HQ its quite easy to miss the fact that one of the number is missing as was the case yesterday morning when I was feeding the critters. Rippers, a very bouncy Berner kept bouncing up to a large cardboard box that yours truly had walked past at least 11 times that morning. Finally she got her nose under it and flipped it over to discover the young male peacock trapped, or rather ready to fly straight at her as she released him. Seems the idiot bird had perched on the edge of the box, it tipped over on top of him and he could not get out until a very curious dog helped him with his VTOL technique.

You did it all for us.....

 Lergy lifted substantially in yours truly today so time was spent wiping runny noses on other bipeds and putting together the furniture that finally arrived in the right sized lorry late last week.For a few moments the new conservatory and new furniture looked great.

 Then reality struck and two very happy soggy doggies thanked us for all our hard work and made themself very comfortable.

 Then their was the lesson learned over cake. Never leave a Christmas cake unattended by the open kitchen window when there are hungry peacocks about the place.

As they are pet status they cannot be eaten in revenge.

Something to look forward to...

So this time last year I was dressed as a Lion "running" (stumbling) fifteen miles across country to raise money for BBC Children in Need. Today the only running done has been from sofa to toilet as manflu transmogrified to some sort of winter DV bug. As the apprentice kept himself awake most of sunday monday tuesday night by coughing himself silly we decided enough was enough and phoned the Doc. Thanks to having a well funded and smoothly run NHS our infant who had not slept for three nights and who was just exhausted from coughing fits was rushed through the appointment list and got to see a nice understanding medic at 9.45 this morning, except he didn't. Due to high demand on their time we finally crossed the threshold of the consulting room at 10.35. In the meantime yours truly had to keep unwell child occupied in busy waiting room full of scowling geriatrics who all felt their need was far greater than anyone else's. Thus we ran the gauntlet of UTC's, or Unexpected Toddler Comments. The opener of "Why is everyone so QUIET DADDY!" was innocuous enough, as were repeated requests for the toilet (its the latest game, check out the toilet facilities wherever we are as many times as possible) a real cringer of "I've just done a massive pooh!" was lost amongst the klaxon going to alert another patient that their time was nigh, but the one everyone heard was "Look Daddy, that man's a really big giant man LOOK!" (child runs forward at this stage and points to a man some 7 foot tall) Thankfully giant man had sense of humour and I ushered the apprentice into the docs room before he succumbed to any more patient tourettes.
Inside, bad news. Having given the doc the history of endless coughs and colds, runny noses, DV, few days grace, then repeat doc says. This is normal. Apparently a child of the apprentices age can expect on average to be ill from cold like symptoms for some 21 weeks a year until the age of about 7 years old. The luckless parent can expect to pick up two thirds of these bugs brought back from play groups and school and so should expect to feel unwell for some 15 weeks a year. So in other words the doc was saying man up you two and get used to it as being ill is something to look forward to. Obviously.

Where are we?

 Once Mrs Bear was settled at Rock HQ, and to see how settled turn to the dog blog in the margin, yours truly dragged his reluctant self out into the early  doors of last fridayness and did about a weeks worth of jobs which included packing for a weekend away at Centre Parcs. Admittedly for me this entailed toothbrush, single malt, outdoor fitness and cycling magazines and spare boxers. For my beautiful and oh so patient wife this meant a tad more but my excuse was genetic deficit meant I am ill suited to pack for family hols. Hence yours truly shut outdoors sorting critters out until time to hand over their care, including new Berner, to our everso accommodating housesitter.

 Soon (read after 6 hour nightmare traffic horrendous weather car journey) we were in the winter wonderland of Sherwood Forest where magic trees and freak weather kept the apprentice very entertained.

 As did the magic animals. Lil Bef joined us and soon all of us were making most of the facilities of one of the UK's premier activity holiday villages. Running, cycling, racquet sports, mountain biking, spinning, walking, climbing, swimming in the sub tropical paradise, were to name but a few of  the activities we managed to steadfastly avoid for almost all the weekend thanks to all of us coming down with lergy. Huddled under the duvet on the sofa (naturally being a bloke I was the really ill one) the only thing running about me was my nose. There were some high points (fuelled by co-codamol, cold cure and one of speysides finest) such as a trip to see a jolly fat bloke dressed in red and his elf helpers. This was indeed a great and memorable family moment, the apprentice stole the show by interviewing the big Father Christmas and then took to heart his advice of puddle jumping all the way back to the villa. Cheers Santa. Of the 72 hours or so resident at this mecca to sporting life I managed a 27 minute burst of exercise which in no way allowed me to consume as much chocolate as I could reach whilst feeling sorry for my self prone on the sofa.
Back at the ranch the lergy continued, the drawbridge to the outside world was lifted, crosses painted on doors to warn off unwary callers and we waited to get better. Some of us are still waiting but I had to man up and get outside today to take Bear (our Bear, the one we got back from Ireland) to the V E T.

 My departure coincided with the first dry spell since Monday night. So here is an opportune pic of the Pea Hen Mrs Laurel and her offspring which are now nearly as big as she is and are not featuring on any exotic Christmas menu, unlike the Kangaroo steaks found in the freezer section of a local German supermarket.

Bear is doing great. Here he is beside himself with excitement after being told by the specialist V E T that surgery would not be a good idea at this stage. Had he been the more active type, like his litter brother Spotty (aka action berner) then a new knee would have been created for him where he would not need a crutiate ligament, but as he is like this except when eating or doing what Bears do in the woods then it was felt as being a pointless exercise. So a new way has been found, some series of injections that will mean he should grow new cartilage. Or not. If he does we should see him back to his old self of....erm....couch potato grand master.

Living the dream

 This is Tina and Mark with Bear. Tina and Mark are about to do what you or I cannot do, they are ditching the 9 to 5 with suitable ties and heading off across the Atlantic in a massive yacht (massive is subjective, not massive compared to an oil tanker but uber massive compared to the Drascombes I sailed from Portsmouth which is where they are currently berthed) and are intending to go around the world. Now despite having a life jacket Bear is not a sea dog and did not like the prospects of a life on the ocean wave so has opted to come back to the clan for the time being (estimated 2 years, depending on how hard the wind blows) and is now an official foster dog within the Dolyhir Clan.

 Bear got quite excited in Gerry re-enacting a scene from The Shining at one point.

Back at HQ Bear met her mum and dad, Rocky and Reba, and Bear her older brother, we kept the rest of the clan seperate from her on her first night but she briefly met Spotty, Bliss, Ritchie and WooZah and the pathetic triever Poppy. As can be gleaned from the above picture she is making herself very at home. Thats her sat watching the news with me on the sofa. This is unusual as I have actually got a space on the sofa.

Gimme some!

 

Double celebrations at Rock HQ today. Supergrandma's birthday tea was interrupted by messages from he who cannot be named who has had his commission serving Big Liz extended to 2028 giving him some job security providing no one shoots at him. The moment was lost on his littlest brother who just wanted to get amongst the pizza.

Fair share

Alana making sure she gets her fair share of the breakfast bales.

You know what to do!

Ok!
So I bust my gate down.
What you gonna do about it fat bloke?
Yeah that's right, go and get the baler twine!


Misty, a pint sized shitland with Tina Turner hairdo and bad attitude, adding to the jobs list after some modifications to her stall.